Almost every man suffers from premature ejaculation at some point in their life.
Ejaculation is the moment a man climaxes or cums during sex. Ideally, it’s a moment we wish to control but it often something which happens more spontaneously.
The most common issue is premature ejaculation, when a man climaxes before they or their partner may wish them too. However, men can also suffer from delayed ejaculation when they find it hard or even impossible to climax.
Sex is fun and exciting, so almost every man may experience premature ejaculation at some time. Likewise, sex can also sometimes be a nervous or uncomfortable time, making it hard to climax. Both are perfectly normal.
However, if you continually suffer from premature ejaculation – or find it hard to ejaculate – it could be a more long-term issue which you may need help to overcome.
Sexual health clinics and services like ours can help you identify the problem and create a solution so it is no longer something you need to worry about.
First of all, it’s important to keep things in perspective.
A study of over 500 couples in 5 different countries found that the average length of time it took a man to ejaculate during sex was five and a half minutes. Some took longer, some were much quicker.
Many people assume the longer sex lasts the better it is and the more their partner will enjoy it. Contrary to what adult films or popular myth may have us believe, fulfilling sex typically lasts for less time than many of us may guess.
However, if you are concerned you are regularly suffering from premature ejaculation, there can be both psychological and physical factors.
Physical causes can include prostate issues, an overactive or underactive thyroid and the effect of certain recreational drugs.
Psychological causes can include stress and depression. Problems within your relationship or anxiety about sexual performance can also contribute.
Trauma, early sexual experiences or a strict upbringing with negative beliefs about sex, can also all be triggers.
Firstly, try not to worry. Being concerned about premature ejaculation can be something which triggers it.
Whilst it’s not always easy to keep your mind off climaxing, you can try thinking of something unrelated during sex. It may also help switching to a different sexual position with your partner which you find less stimulating.
If you feel yourself about the climax, you can pause until the feeling passes. In particular, taking a deep breath can briefly stop the ejaculation reflex. By doing this consistently, you may be able to naturally delay your ejaculation and gain more long-term control.
Using a condom – or a thicker condom – can reduce sensitivity. Masturbating an hour or two before sex can also reduce the urgency to ejaculate.
Topical anaesthetics (such as lidocaine) can also be applied to the penis to numb it and reduce sensitivity. However, they may also affect your partners sensation through contact.
Couples therapy can help those in a long-term relationship to work together to find a solution. For example, the squeeze technique encourages your partner to masturbate you then stop and squeeze the head of your penis when you are about to ejaculate. This stops you climaxing, after which they can begin the masturbation again and prolong the process.
SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are typically used to treat depression or anxiety. However, they have a common side effect of slowing climax. As such they can be prescribed specifically to help premature ejaculation.
On the flip side, anti-depressant drugs, as well as alcohol and other recreational drugs, can be causes of delayed ejaculation and changing or reducing them can help.
A common treatment for delayed ejaculation is sex therapy where partners become more creative with their love-making. This can include acting out sexual fantasies or using erotic videos or pictures, lubricants and sex toys.
Relax, you’re not alone.
Premature ejaculation – and delayed ejaculation – are things which almost every man will experience at some point on their sex life. They are often linked to stress or anxiety and may pass naturally.
However, if the issue persists, speak to Essex Sexual Health Service and we will arrange a discrete and understanding consultation.