Experiencing trauma can affect many parts of life, including how we feel about sex and intimacy. Whether your trauma is connected to a sexual experience or not, it can leave lasting effects on how you view your body, your boundaries, and your relationships.

There’s no “right” timeline or one-size-fits-all way to reconnect with your sexual self. Healing is deeply personal and it’s always okay to take things at your own pace.

Reclaiming control starts with you

After trauma, it’s common to feel disconnected from your body or unsure of what feels safe. Remember that you are in charge of your own boundaries. You get to decide what feels comfortable, what doesn’t, and when you’re ready.

If you’re exploring intimacy again, try focusing on what feels grounding, maybe that’s touch that’s non-sexual, moments of mindfulness, or spending time doing things that help you feel at home in your body.

Communication is key

If you have a partner, honest conversations can help rebuild trust and connection. You might share what helps you feel safe or talk about what you’d like to avoid for now. It’s okay if that changes over time, healing isn’t linear.

A supportive partner will listen, respect your boundaries, and go at your pace.

Take the pressure off

It’s easy to feel like you “should” be ready or “should” enjoy certain things but there are no rules here. Intimacy doesn’t have to mean sex, and sex doesn’t have to look the same as it did before. What matters most is consent, comfort, and choice.

Sometimes exploring your own pleasure in private can also help you rediscover what feels good, without pressure or expectations.

Support is available

You don’t have to go through this alone. Talking to a counsellor, therapist, or sexual health professional can help you process trauma in a safe space and explore your feelings about intimacy and sex.

If you’re struggling or unsure where to start, Essex Sexual Health Service offers free and confidential support. Our team can signpost counselling services, sexual health advice, and trauma-informed care, with no judgement.

You deserve to feel safe, in control, and connected to your body again, on your terms.

Visit essexsexualhealthservice.org.uk for confidential advice, local clinics, and support.